Bestial! Senzational. Ireversibil Hac!



Trimite, ca nu vreau sa-ti tin garajul ocupat!

Ai primit sticlele ???? De fapt..am trimis o lada...sa-ti ajunga

Saru'mana. Stau la usa si pandesc momentul.

Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand"

"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

Dupa o bauta zdravana, doi betivi la masa se uita unul la celalalt timp de 10 minute. Apoi, unul zice catre celalalt:
- Auzi ma, tragem o betie cand ne trezim?

The Correct Way to Come Home Drunk

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other
and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after
we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the
driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes
off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the
bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent
splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me
for staying out so late."

His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong
approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps,
pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in
the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the a-s-s
and say 'WHO'S HORNY????!!!' and she acts like she's sound asleep! Works
every time!!!!"

Doctorul :- Cat alcool consumi pe zi
Pacientul :- 8-10 sticle de bere.
D: - Eu nici apa n-as putea sa beau atata .
P: -Apa n-as putea nici eu.

Un om mai maruntzel sta trist intr-un bar ... Inaintea sa bea o bere... intra un barbat "zdravan"... il bate pe "micutzul" pe umar... si-i bea berea... "micutzul" incepe sa plingä... Solidul: "hei, ce te smiorcai asa ..pentru o bere?" Micutzul: " uite... azi dimineatza m-a parasit nevasta, mi-a golit contul la banca ... casa goala! Pe urma m-au si concediat! Nu am mai vrut sa traiesc ... m-am asezat pe sina de cale ferata si trenul trece pe linga mine! Am vrut sa mä spinzur si s-a rupt fringhia! Am vrut sa ma inpusc dar s-a blocat revolverul! Si acum, imi cumpar o bere din ultimi bani, torn otrava in ea ... si vii tu si mi-o bei???!!!

In bere e putere. In vin e sanatate. In coniac este distinctie, iar in apa sunt numai microbi...

Un politist se intalneste cu un betiv care statea intins pe jos.
-Bai omule, de ce nu te duci acasa?
-Nu pot sa ma misc de aici. Pe sticla de vin pe care am luat-o scria "A se pastra culcat"

Doi betivi stateau la o masa si consumau cite o bautura.La un moment dat unul dintre ei,foarte indignat,ii spune celuilalt :"Ma,ma,ma pis pe mine maaa....".Celelalt ii raspunde:"Da du-te ma si te pisa dracu'". Primul ii repeta iar:"Maaaa,ma,ma pis pe mine maaa...".---"Da dute si te pisa maaa...".
Acesta nervos isi aduna toate fortele si ii spune tragindusi mucii pe nas:
"NU MAAAA...!!!TU MA PISI PE MINE, MAAA...!!!

Vine dimineata sotul acasa beat. Suna la sonerie, nimeni nu raspunde.Sotul tipa :
-Am cele mai frumoase flori pentru cea mai frumoasa fata!
Sotia deschide bucuroasa usa si intreaba
-Da unde-s florile?
Da' sotul raspunde :
- Da' unde-i fata frumoasa?

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, “Give the ballerina a drink!”

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?” Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, “Give the ballerina another drink!”

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, “I say, old chap, it’s your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?’”

“As far as I’m concerned”, the drunk replied, “any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!”