Doi tigani se duc in excursie in Egipt. In prima zi viziteaza piramidele,
cheltuiesc toti banii, de aceea dorm peste noapte pe malul Nilului.
Pina dimineata pe unu' il inghite un crocodil pana la gat. Se trezeste
celalalt si striga:
- Mâca-tzi-ash!!! De und' ai sac de dormit Lacoste???

buna dimineatza fetele
in ultimul timp nu am mai scris nimik aici am mai intrat sa vad ce faceti dar nu am raspuns la mesaje...
sunt intr-o pasa proasta si adevarul este ca nici chef nu prea am avut de nimik

Aud turistii din lumea intreaga de Marele Canion si de hotarasc sa-l viziteze, sa admire ecoul.
Se duce prima data englezul,striga:
-I LOVE YOU !
Ecoul : I LOVE YOU
Se duce si francezul
-Je t'aime'!
Ecoul : JE T'AIME
Romanu': TE IUBESC
Ecoul: TE IUBESC
In sfarsit de duce si chinezul:
-HOAN TING TONG TO HUI
Ecoul: CE, MA?

De ce pune un politist pe noptieră un pahar plin cu apă si unul gol?
Poate îi e sete, poate nu…

O blonda se trezeste la ora 8 plina de sudori.La ora 9 se trezesc si sudorii si pleaca!

-Draga, esti sigura ca sunt primul barbat cu care te culci.
-Sigur draga, cu restul am stat treaza!

Ce este mica, cu cap roşu şi miroase a urină? Borna kilometrică.

Zicere:Un afisaj digital furnizeaza informatii gresite cu o precizie mai mare decat a fost posibil anterior

Inaintea invoirii, colonelul catre detasamentul TR:
- Sa nu intrati in circiumi, sa nu dati buzna la telefoane si mai ales sa nu va incurcati cu femei de sex opus!!!!!

I: Cum se numeste un tigan pe bicicleta?
R: MobilRom.
I: Cum se numeste un tigan in spatiu?
R: CosmoRom.

95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101. Baiat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - a zis miriapodul dupa ce i-a nascut nevasta.

Doi medici psihiatri coboara scarile. Unul se impiedica, cade si isi rupe piciorul.
Celalalt se repede la el si il intreba: - Vrei sa discutam despre asta?

Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .whether you're here or not."

(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

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Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

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Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"


(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

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Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

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Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

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God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.